Jaw-Grinding, Supermodel Smile

That fat, nasty, sex-starved, sacrificial body,
Hating all my sons like the pure earth hates wine.

But I love that angry child in me like no one can,
And I soothe that frightened child in me like no mother can.

I'll find a morning ritual to force my ugliest self to put on this neat little button-up with a face-smoothing, parched throat, jaw grinding, super model smile,
To stand beside you and provoke!

Embracing these transgressions makes my appetite for power excessive; I even seek to choke out innocence.

I’m addicted to this cocaine brand of bitter piss fed venom.

I soak up whole cultures in a single psychotic mouthful.

Excessive focus.

Devoted beliefs.

Dogmatic hatred from the rest.

A psychic cheat code, a neural stepping-stone, a desperately dirty decision.

To all standards of sanity and calculation: Lethal.

One with my Self within myself,
All this programming that came mostly out of automatic living could sink me.

To wax on rhapsodically in cryptic exclamations,

Am I doing it right?